Are military guys controlling?

Are Military Guys Controlling?

The phenomenon of military men being perceived as controlling has been a topic of debate and discussion for centuries. From the romanticizing of soldiers in movies to the everyday experiences of being around military personnel, people often wonder if military training and culture contribute to individuals exhibiting controlling behavior. Let’s dive into the fascinating topic and explore the arguments both for and against military men being controlling.

What is Controlling Behavior?

Before we delve into whether military guys are controlling, it’s essential to understand what controlling behavior refers to. Controlling behavior is when a person attempts to dictate every aspect of another person’s life, often by monitoring, restricting, or scrutinizing their actions, opinions, or decisions. These actions can be subtle, yet insidious, exerting significant emotional and psychological control over the targeted individual. In extreme cases, controlling behavior can manifest in patterns of abuse, often characteristic of domestic violence, which can have severe legal, emotional, and health consequences.

Evidence of Controlling Tendencies in Military Culture?

Proponents of the idea that military men are controlling point to certain aspects of military culture as evidence. Here are a few examples:

Traditional gender roles: Historical male dominance in military society reinforces traditional gender roles. Male military personnel often conform to traditional masculine norms, prioritizing strength, domination, and control over personal feelings and relationships. Female partners or spouses may absorb and internalize these controlling expectations, leading to issues of power imbalance.

• Authoritarian command structures: Military organizations operate through hierarchies, promoting command and control structures, where orders are frequently issued, and decisions must be made quickly. Subordinate personnel may learn to expect and respond to dictates rather than engaging in more egalitarian decision-making. When civilians interact with such individuals, they may detect strong control tendencies.

Counterarguments:

On the other hand, detractors claim that the perception of controlling behavior in military individuals might be exaggerated or overly attributed to their military role.

Contextual variables matter: Military training prioritizes discipline, respect, and following orders to safeguard troops and achieve objectives. Orders and instructions might feel restrictive or controlling to a non-military person due to the unfamiliar context of command structures and mission dynamics.

• Crisis response and adaptability: Military personnel are required to adapt quickly to novel and often high-pressure scenarios, where decisive action prevails over deliberation or empathy. This training breeds fast-paced decision-making rather than constant control or criticism of others.

Barracks life vs. family life: The daily social dynamics within military encampments can contribute to perceiving military individuals as more controlling. Close, temporary living arrangements may prompt overly familiar or paternal attitudes. However, outside such situations, military men who experience significant life changes like transitions, deployments, and reintegrations often maintain different behaviors and values regarding personal relationships.

Why this matters: While neither definitive evidence nor definitive contradictions fully prove or disprove controlling tendencies in military personnel, it’s essential to explore these dynamics for implications beyond the military:

| **Type** | **Percentage in military** | **Compared to general population**
| — | — | —
| Controlling |? (difficult to accurately determine) | Lower (estimated 37-44% of partnered veterans exhibit controlling behaviors com-
| Respectful |? | Higher (estimated 59% of partnered veterans feel happy in their relationship.)

Conclusion :

Despite the complexities, and though we cannot categorize military guys as definitively controlling or not, their exposure to specific aspects of military culture can influence individuals in ways that might trigger control issues. The dynamics outlined above highlight the role of context, life factors, and individual personality on their potential to exhibit controlling behavior. When interacting with service personnel, it’s critical to consider these variables before assuming a controlling demeanor without factual basis.

Practical Takeaways :

To prevent oversimplification or unfairly portraying military men as controlling, focus on:

• Observing and understanding individual characters beyond their military affiliation or job title.
• Distinguishing between control vs. guidance, direction vs. micromanagement.
• Fostering open conversations to clarify expectations, doubts, and concerns in partnerships, friendships, or interpersonal interactions.

By adopting an inclusive and nuanced approach when examining controlling behavior in those serving in the military or considering military culture’s relationship with controlling tendencies, we may reduce the stigma, oversimplification, or unfounded assumptions associated with the topic.